@bradychase

kaijuno:

when u live in the US and ur poor and u get sick

(via reshipped)

rum:

Other doctor: “Now, gently dab around the wound”

me:

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pettyrevenge:

At my job, most workers (myself included) keep our snacks in the break room fridge. I stack my bag of chex mix on top of my lunch. Well, about a month ago, a new hire, (we’ll call her “Amy”) kept stealing my chex mix. After a couple days of this happening, I decided class action petty revenge needed to be taken. I bought a bag of chocolate chex mix the next day to see if she would take that kind as well. She did. After work that day, I bought another bag of chocolate chex mix and some cat food. I emptied out all the chex mix, poured some cat food in a bowl, covered it in chocolate and put it back in the chex mix bag.

The next day at work, I saw her go into the break room. I saw her conceal the bag and make her way back to her desk. She opened it, and without looking at the contents, scooped up a giant handful of my special revenge mix, and began to chew. I sat at my desk, sipping a Coffee with a shit eating grin, knowing what would happen next.

Her eyes widened, and her face drained of color. She tried to get up, but the horrid taste was causing her to gag uncontrollably. She tripped over her chair, spitting out the vile concoction of cat food and chocolate as she frantically stumbled trying to keep her balance. She got up and hurried towards the bathroom, looking like she was about to cry. I’d never felt so damn good.

(via reshipped)

pettyrevenge:

My family didn’t have a lot of money, so right after I graduated from high school, I got a job waiting tables to help pay for Community College. I was lucky enough to get a job as a server at the local Houlihan’s and it was pretty good money for young college kid. In the back there were these two Mexican dishwashers who were also joking around and laughing. They spoke very broken English, but were able to communicate. Every time they would see me they greeted me with a Spanish sounding version of my name. I didn’t really understand it, but they always laughed and seemed genuinely happy to see me so I laughed along too.

After several months working there one of the cooks working the line, who always had a front row seat to this suddenly called me over. I remember this guy was always stoic and we weren’t really friends, but we weren’t on bad terms either. I always did my job, and tried to keep as much shit from angry customers from coming back to the kitchen, which is probably why he took pity on me. He said, “Do you know what they are calling you?” I shook my head no. I had no idea.

“It is a joke on your name. It basically means take out and suck your dick.” I thanked him profusely and after that I tried to go even more out of my way to help that guy. At the same time a smouldering fire began to rage and burn in my heart. I was humiliated and angry, but I didn’t say anything to them. I just smiled and played the game.

I immediately enrolled in Spanish classes the next semester. I found Spanish speaking students to hang out with. Soon my entire group of friends was Spanish speaking. By this time I had moved on from that restaurant and left those two dishwashers behind, but they were not forgotten. After several more semesters I started spending my summer breaks volunteering in South America, and finally as I graduated from University with a degree in Engineering I won an internship to work in Spain only because I had become so good at speaking Spanish. It was an amazing three months, but all good things come to an end and I had return home.

After I came back home I was exhausted, but my friend forced me to go to a birthday party. By coincidence I ended up meeting an amazing Hispanic woman there who was going to be my future wife. Later that night we all went to a club and as we were dancing and having a good time I suddenly felt someone tapping me on the shoulder. I turned around and standing there is Oscar, one of the dish washers.

“Take out your dick and suck it!” He said in Spanish.

Without missing a beat I replied in perfect Spanish, “Your sister already did that for me last night!”

His eyes got really big and then we both burst into laughter and hugged. The petty dream I originally had to get back at him had finally been fulfilled, but now 5 years later my heart was suddenly filled with gratitude. I had long since realized that he had unknowingly launched me into an amazing journey where I travelled the world, met some amazing people, fell in love with a new culture and had just met my future wife. So fuck you Oscar and thanks again.

(via reshipped)